Welcome
To all my fellow loss parents, know you are not alone. I am so incredibly grateful that you are here, and I am holding you and your babies in my heart.
I look forward to connecting with you and helping you keep your baby’s memory alive.
"Every experience, good or bad,
is what makes you uniquely you."
Hello!
My name is LaCara.
Growing up, I never imagined being where I am today. I meticulously mapped out my future:
- Envisioning high school graduation
- Pursuing higher education
- Establishing a fulfilling career
- Finding a loving partner
- Eventually, building a family if it felt right
Until 2020, I maintained the course reasonably well, despite encountering significant detours.
Yet through each season of challenge and change, I uncovered an innate ability to navigate the rough waters and emerge more robust and resilient than before.
Yet when my daughter died, the harsh reality hit that specific experiences genuinely have the power and ability to shatter a person.
My Background & Story
2014 I graduated from the University of Victoria with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. From the beginning, I always knew that I would help others. However, throughout my nursing career, I had always felt slightly lost and was eager to find my area of expertise.
I was determined to find an area and specialty that I loved.
Over the years, I spent significant time and resources obtaining specialty certifications, diplomas and even a Master’s degree.
Within my first five years, I went from frontline nurse to supervisor to manager. All in pursuit of my life’s purpose and passion. I was keen and eager to find something that fuelled my soul.
It wasn’t until 2020, when my daughter Kailani died that I realized it was time to take my career in a different direction.
Through my grief journey, I discovered that there wasn’t adequate support or resources available to help parents in their experience of pregnancy and infant loss.
As a result, I began writing and decided to help bridge the gap by creating the resources and support I desperately sought.
In sharing my story, I hope others might feel less alone in their experience of pregnancy or infant loss. Through speaking out about the realities faced as a grieving mother, I aim to teach others about and raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss.
Stigma and taboos related to pregnancy and infant loss are plentiful. By creating awareness, facilitating discussions, and sharing the realities faced together, we can change the culture that encompasses pregnancy and infant loss.
Baby Loss
Changing the Culture
Not long after my daughter’s death, someone told me, “You can always have another baby,” as though my daughter was replaceable.
How our society approaches pregnancy and infant loss is highly hurtful, harmful, and dismissive. Though, it isn’t just specific to pregnancy and infant loss and is experienced by many who endure grief due to a loved one dying.
Grief and grieving is not a topic people openly talk about, especially when it’s related to pregnancy and infant loss. The death of a baby is uncomfortable, and many do not know how to talk about it or how to support one through the experience. As a result, people tend to avoid it or attempt to offer words of support that often do more harm than good.
Most parents enjoy talking and sharing about their babies like parents with living children do. We honour our babies and keep their memory alive by sharing about them.
Why it's Important?
Pregnancy loss rates are 1 in 4, meaning 25% of all pregnancies result in loss. More specifically, this speaks to early pregnancy losses termed as miscarriage.
According to the CDC, more than 20,000 babies are stillborn in the United States yearly. These numbers equate to about 1 in 175 births.
According to SIDS Calgary Society, approximately 1 in 2000 babies will die due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
These numbers do not include or account for those pregnancies and baby deaths resulting from termination for medical reasons (TFMR), medical conditions, loss of a multiple, and other causes.
Pregnancy and infant loss are prevalent in our society, and it’s time to discuss it.
The death of my daughter changed me to my core. Her death is a heaviness I carry with every breath I take. There will never be a day that I don’t grieve her.
Talking about her and sharing her memory with all of you helps bring purpose and light to a very challenging and dark part of my story.
Therefore, if you know of someone who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, I invite you to be there for them. Provide them with an opportunity to share their story if they so choose.
For support and information on how you can support a loved one through pregnancy or infant loss, grab your copy of Heavenly Seas. Also, be sure to sign up to receive my monthly newsletter.
My Vision
To strengthen support networks available to families who endure pregnancy and infant loss. Together we can illuminate the healing path and celebrate the unwavering spirit of parents who have experienced loss.
My Values
Knowledge
Devoting time to advancing my knowledge and education is vital to supporting you. I am a true believer that with knowledge and education, we can better serve ourselves and those around us.
Authenticity
The greatest gift we can give this world is the gift of being our true selves. By being who we truly are, we are able to lead by example and inspire others to embrace their true colours and live a life that is unique and beautiful.
Respect
We all want to be acknowledged and respected. Through compassion, gratitude, curiosity and appreciation, we can come to understand the thoughts, feelings, wishes, rights, and experiences of others.
My Mission
To provide a transformative experience with invaluable support and guidance that empowers you to navigate grief’s challenges, find solace, and cultivate a newfound hope.
To learn about how to work with me, please visit the grief support page or email info@lacarabiddles.com
